The Comparison Trap

Salutations to bloggophites,
We went to the beach yesterday. Rocky Neck, Ct. in Old Lyme. It's a great beach, a little smaller than some nearby ones so not quite as crowded. But crowded enough to people watch.
I am fascinated with why we, as women, are so interested in comparing ourselves to other women. That's what got me started on my diet obsession for ten years. How many hot fudge sundaes have I missed?
I am like most women, I compare myself. "Look at that model, she is thin, therefore, gorgeous. I want to be gorgeous so I must be thin". Except that my distorted thinking didn't warn me that she was 6 feet tall and weighed 117 lbs! (that's average for a model) while the average American woman is 5'4" and weighs 140 lbs. Now why don't we compare ourselves to that?
Anyway, on the beach yesterday, I noticed that most of the women who were there (baring the almost naked truth) were not thin at all. Most of them were actually on the verge of looking pretty curvy! We would save ourselves a lot of time, energy, money and self-esteem if we lived back in "The Day" when curves were in. Remember those wonderful Rembrandts?
But I started thinking about The Comparison Trap more globally. We observe what is accepted as "normal" in our society. I don't think we consciously do this, but we all do it, big time. And then we measure how we fit into the standard, whatever it is that we are considering. It could be so many things. It is "normal" to be tall if you are a man. So, if you are short, too bad for you. Get elevator shoes. Men should have hair. If you are bald, get a rug. If you are a woman, you should not have wrinkles. Buy those expensive products or get a face lift. Women should also have big breasts. You know what you have to do.
People should be married. What's wrong with you if you haven't found that perfect mate? And if you are married, you should have children. You raise eyebrows if you choose not to. You can use your imagination to go on and on with the comparisons we make. Sexual orientation is a big one. Step outside of society's "norms" and you will pay the price.
But isn't it true that we make the comparisions ourselves and suffer the consequences? Does it really matter what others think of us?
I don't think it does. It matters a lot what we think of ourselves. And when we open ourselves to The Comparison Trap, we will always be unsatisfied in some way because each one of us will not measure up on one scale or another.
You know what I have observed now that I have graduated to the grandmother status? Old people really do have a lot of answers. But our society has a construct that getting older is a negative. How absurd! Getting older is a hoot! You can say and do what you want and you don't really care anymore about those silly comparisons! I wrote somewhere that it is a very frustrating thing to have so many answers when nobody asks any questions. I was trying to be funny but it is true. So, the next time you face the temptation to compare yourself to someone else or even worse, to the distorted "norms" of our society, watch out! Catch yourself! Go get some dark chocolate and do something fun for yourself! Get a dog. They won't compare you to anyone or anything. Just love ya.
I love ya, too.
Does anyone get what I'm trying to say????
Is there anyone listening?????
Susan